Brought into the Light
by NovaCalla
Summary: An incident with red lyrium brings out a secret that Amera Adaar would have rather kept in the dark. Now she is forced to face her secret and all the problems that come with it. F!Adaar/ Cassandra
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or anything regarding Dragon Age.

Chapter 1

"My lady? Are you awake?" Ruffle's sweet voice brought me from my sweet state of unconsciousness. My team and I had gotten back to Skyhold at an ungodly hour and I'd only just fallen asleep. It seems the Inquisitor's work was never done. "Lady Adaar?" Josephine's voice called out again.

"What?" I mumbled through my pillow. Nothing. "What?" I asked louder, I tried my best to keep the irritation and anger out of my voice, but it did not work. My tone was very… unamused. The door squeaked a bit on its hinges when she opened the door.

"Lady Adaar?" Josephine whispered again. The woman confused me to no end. She wakes me up, then she enters my chambers and whispers my name like she was expecting me to be asleep. "Are you still awake? I need to discuss something with you."

I growled rolling over in bed and sitting up to face her. I leaned against my small bed frame and tried, in vain, to get comfortable. Nothing in this bloody place was big enough for a Qunari. I saw Josephine wince slightly at my tone and I immediately felt sorry. "My apologies, Ambassador… it's been a long day." I murmured. "What can I help you with?" I tilted my head to one side and looked at her intently.

"There are some things, regarding the rebuilding of Skyhold that need your approval." Josephine hesitated. "I would have waited until later, but the day has almost begun and I needed to give the builders a schedule for the day. Seeing as you did not return until late, I assumed you would be sleeping for the better part of the day. Otherwise-"

"Ambassador," I interrupted Josephine's rambling. "It's fine. I'm awake now, let us talk." I flung the blanket off of me and stood. I heard Josephine gasp and immediately spun around, thinking that there was danger, in a defensive position with my fists near my face. There was no one besides Josephine and myself. I looked down and Josephine to ask why she gasped, but then I realized. I'd been injured on our last trip and I had a long wound on my abdomen, Josephine was staring at it quite intently. I quickly walked into my closet and pulled on a long shirt over my shorts and breast binder. When I reemerged, Josephine was standing by my desk and had set out several papers. "My apologies, once again Ambassador." I was blushing slightly, but you couldn't tell on my grey skin. "Let's get to work then, shall we?"

"Yes, let's." Josephine and I spent the next hour discussing what stone should be used to fix Skyhold, what colors I wanted the tapestries, should we decorate more Andrastian to settle the people, what freaking decorations I wanted, and just about anything else that she could think of. "Thank you for your time, Inquisitor. This will allow me to create the workers building schedule for the next several weeks."

"I'm glad to help Ambassador." I smiled at her, fighting back a yawn.

"Oh good, you're up." Leliana said stepping inside my room. She too had a stack of papers that no doubt needed my attention. "I have some papers that need your attention." I almost cried right there, but instead I smiled at Josephine as she left and turned to face Leliana. Who needed sleep anyway?

~DA~

It had been over two days since I'd had any sleep. We'd finished our mission and had vital information that my advisors needed, so we had forgone sleep and pushed for Skyhold. We'd arrived and debriefed, after which the rest of my team went straight to sleep, but not me. Oh no. Sera had shown up just as I was entering my chambers and had hauled me off to the tavern for some 'moral booster' party. I was happy to say that it had worked. All of the soldiers that had been there, looked properly 'boosted'. After that, I managed to make it all the way to my chambers, had gotten ready for bed, and had actually fallen asleep for ten minutes when I was awoken by my lovely Ambassador. Then Leliana had needed some of my time, then Cullen. It was now lunch and I was more than ready to sleep for days. A few of the serving elves came to my table and placed hot food down. It looked delicious. That was one thing I loved about coming home, the food was always good... and not something that I had killed. An elf came up behind me with a pitcher of beer and started to pour my drink. Solas came in and the elf stared at him with love sick eyes. Had I been more alert I would have noticed that she'd more than filled my cup, but in my half asleep state I did not notice till it was in my lap. I forcefully lept backwards, away from the offending liquid. My chair crashed to the ground with a loud noise, effectively silencing the hall. The elf looked up at me in horror, stammering out an apology. I was tired and now I was covered in this watered down ale that they called beer, but above all I was angry. I looked down at the cowering elf and snarled. Humans could not make such a sound, but Qunari, we could snarl and roar just like our dragon ancestors. "Are you INCOMPETENT?!" I roared at her. She paled and started to speak. "Do. Not. Speak." I threatened and she quickly closed her mouth. I was breathing hard and I wanted to hit something. A very primal urge, I know, but none the less I wanted to destroy something. "All that has been asked of you is to pour a drink." I said very softly now, getting right in the elf's personal space. "Simply pour a drink." I spat grabbing the pitcher out of her hand. I threw it with all of my might against the nearby wall and it shattered into a dozen tiny pieces.

"I-I'm s-sorry H-Herald." She stammered.

"I told you not to speak." I snarled at her grabbing her by the arm and lifting her onto my shoulder. I turned to leave when a voice called out.

"Amera! Put. Her. Down." I spun around to see Cassandra standing in the middle of the hall looking furious.

"Or what Seeker?" I spat.

"Or I will make you." Cassandra said calmly taking several steps towards me.

"Will you now?" I smiled. Cassandra was giving me exactly what I wanted. "Come at me Princess." Cassandra froze mid stride. Several seconds passed and she did nothing. "Look at that, the pretty princess is to weak to take on a huge Qunari. Poor little thing." I goaded her. She looked up at me and snarled. "She has teeth it seems, but can you bite and withstand the taste of blood in your mouth, as you kill your prey?" Cassandra launched herself at me from where she stood. I side stepped and watched her crash to the floor. "Not very coordinated now are you? But what could one expect from royalty?" She lunged again and I walked back into the middle of the hall. The elf was sobbing on my shoulder, begging me to let her go.

"What is the _matter_ with you Amera?" Cassandra asked stopping her attacks.

"What's the matter Princess? Tired already?" Cassandra lunged at me and I dropped the elf on the floor and grabbed Cassandra by her arms.

"Ha, I told you I would make you drop her." Cassandra spat at me with a smug grin plastered on her face. I gave her a wicked grin.

"That may be true, but now I have you." Her smiled faded. "And you're _a lot_ more fun than some elf. Fight me!" I yelled and threw her towards the door. Cassandra rolled several times before hitting the door with a thunk. She shook her head and stood up, somewhat unsteadily. I ran at her as fast as I could. I saw her eyes widen before I hit her. I slammed into her small frame forcing the doors open as I did so. Cassandra went sprawling down the steps. "I figured you'd be better than this Cassandra," I shrugged. "I guess I was wrong about you Princess." I took several steps towards her. "I thought you would be harder to beat than some of the royalty I've killed in my mercenary days." A few more steps and I was towering over her. "But you were _easier_ to beat than most of the pompous windbags I've killed. What a shame." Cassandra kicked her legs out and hit my shins sending jolts of pain up my legs. Her fist landed squarely on my jaw and I stumbled backwards.

"Qunari ox!" Cassandra lunged for me again and I smiled. This is what I wanted. I thrust my head forward and collided with Cassandra's chest, hearing several snaps as my reward. She flew backwards off the stone ledge and onto the ground below. I jumped off the ledge and landed right on top of her. My knees were on either side of her hips and I slammed my arms down by her head. I leaned down till there was barely an inch between us. With one hand I held her arms and with the other I traced her perfect jawline. "What are you doing?" Cassandra demanded, her voice wavering slightly. "Why are you acting this way?" I didn't acknowledge her question, instead I traced my finger lightly over her scar.

"How did you get this?" I asked softly.

"Fighting." Cassandra said dryly. I chuckled, what a Cassandra thing to say.

"You humans scar so easily. Your skin is so tender, so soft." I ran my thumb over her lips and she jerk.

"Don't."

"If you hadn't noticed, I've not exactly been doing what I've been told today, and I've always wanted to do this." I leaned down and she jerked her face to the side.

"Stop! Please!" Cassandra begged.

"Boss!" I looked up to see The Iron Bull running over to me, Josephine trailing after him. I sighed, more interruptions.

"What Bull?" Bull came to a stop standing by me and Cassandra. "Can't you see I'm busy?!"

"Ruffles came by the tavern saying that you'd gone mad and were fighting Cassandra. I didn't believe her, but now I see she was right. You're ill or something boss."

"I'm fine." I spat, my vision swimming util I saw three Iron Bulls. "Perfectly fine." I whispered before I collapsed on Cassandra, out cold.

~DA~

Groaning, I gripped my head, hoping that it would make my headache go away. "You're awake!" A cheery voice called out, and whoever it was took off out of my room. I sat up slowly leaning against the frame and slowly opened my eyes. Cassandra, Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine came running in several minutes later. "How are you feeling?" Josephine asked.

"What happened?" I asked quietly. They all looked at one another then back at me. I sat up straighter and looked at them. "What happened?" I asked again, more forcefully this time.

"What do you remember?" I thought for a moment.

"I remember arriving at Skyhold and debriefing with you, Sera's party… then nothing." I groaned. "Sera got me drunk didn't she? That would explain my headache."

"No, not exactly." Josephine said.

"The wound you sustained was infected with red lyrium. You went slightly mad and attack me and a serving elf." Cassandra said bluntly. Trust Cassandra to be blunt.

"I attacked you…" I couldn't breath. "Did I hurt you?"

"Nothing life threatening." Cassandra told me. My vision swam.

"But I did hurt you." I held my head in my hands. "Oh, Cassandra I cannot apologies enough. I am so sorry."

"The only thing you should be sorry for, is not letting Solas check your wound! If he had tended to it like I'd suggested, none of this would have happened!" I winced at the anger in her tone.

"I'm sorry Cassandra." I didn't look up at her when I responded. I gasped and clutched my head as memories started to stream back. Several moments later I looked up at Cassandra. She looked worried… for me. I choked back tears. "Cassandra-" I removed my blankets and staggered upright. Hands were immediately there trying to steady me. "No." I pushed them away and stumbled over to my deck. I clutched the railing and breathed hard. Those things I'd done. I'd almost _killed_ Cassandra! And that poor elf.

"My Lady?" Josephine was at my side. Her hand so gentle and reassuring on my arm.

"Please go." I whispered. She didn't move. "Please, Josephine. Just leave." I begged. She nodded once and left. Leliana and Cullen following her. Cassandra hadn't moved an inch. I turned to looked at her, opening my mouth to speak, but she stopped me.

"I don't want an apology Amera."

"But I-"

"No. No more apologies. You were under the influence of red lyrium and not yourself. You are not accountable for what you did."

"I hurt you. I will _never_ forgive myself for that."

"Because you love me?" Cassandra's eyes were cold. She knew and she was disgusted.

"Yes." I whispered softly. "Yes, Cassandra I love you."

Should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Cassandra was standing by the base of my bed breathing hard. There were many emotions flitting over her usually stoic face. Her fists were clenched at her sides and her posture was stiff and unyielding. I took several steps back into my room gauging Cassandra's reaction. She didn't do anything, she didn't move, flinch, or… anything. I took another few steps towards her until I was standing right in front of her. I lifted my hand to stroke her cheek but stopped half way and slowly lowered my hand.

"I…" I started slowly. "I know you could never…" I exhaled trying to gather my thoughts. "I know you could never feel the same for me. I'm just an ox pretending to be someone important and I could never deserve you. Not after all I've done." I glanced down at Cassandra and her facial expression hadn't changed. "I'm sorry that you found out, I never planned on telling you after you and I had our little 'chat'." I was referring to the conversation where she basically told me to get lost because she's straight. "I know you don't even like women that way and I-"

"How dare you!" Cassandra yelled at me taking a menacing step forward forcing me back one. "How dare you tell me you love me after I told you to stay away from me!" She took several steps forward shoving me roughly and pinning me to the wall with her body, her face inches away from mine causing my breath to hitch. Her voice lowered and took a much darker tone. "How dare you make me question everything I've ever thought about myself. Coming here and throwing yourself at me with all the flirting and all the small gifts you thought I didn't know about." I blushed, I didn't think she knew they were from me. "The new armor so skillfully crafted, the new weapons, the daggers when I was almost killed during Haven after being disarmed, the stupid little bits of jewelry that somehow always made it to my loft! How dare you try to court me you stupid ox!" That last retort stung like a slap to the face.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled back freeing my hands and shoving her backwards. "I'm sorry I'm not a man! I'm sorry I'm not human, or rich, or Andrastian, or perfect enough for you! I'm sorry that I am so repulsive that you could never lower yourself to love an ox like me!" I yelled at her shoving her again a little harder pushing her on my bed and pinning her there with my own body. My hips straddled hers and my arms held hers down. "I'm sorry I don't meet your fucking standards, but I'm not sorry that I love you!" I roared. Cassandra struggled underneath me trying to break free her eyes alight with anger. "I will _never_ be ashamed of loving you." Cassandra heaved and managed to reverse our positions, she was not on top of me pinning me down. "Never!" I yelled again looking up at her, she looked so beautiful like this. Her cheeks were flushed with anger and her hair was slightly messed up, her eyes were alight with what could only be barely contained fury. I stared up at her looking deep into her eyes, I brought my head up as hers came crashing down our lips meeting in a bruising kiss. Her tongue forced its way into my mouth and we dueled for dominance. I won pushing her tongue out and I bit her lower lip causing her to moan. She brought her body down to meet mine so we were touching everywhere. I freed one of my hands and fisted it in her hair, pulling her head back so I could devour her beautiful neck. With one mighty effort I reversed our positions again, my hand still in her hair as I kissed and bit her neck. My other hand started trailing down her side reaching down to cup her ass possessively. She groaned as I gripped her ass, kneading it slightly with my hand. Cassandra gripped my horns and forced my mouth to meet hers as we kissed again, biting, sucking, and nipping at each other. Lost in the haze of lust I didn't notice her hand in between us until a cold hand slipped its way under my shirt and trailed up my abs. Her hand left a trail of fire up my torso to my bound breasts.

"I want to see you." Cassandra panted when we broke for oxygen. I quickly sat up and pulled my shirt off in one fluid motion, my breast binder following several seconds later. Cassandra's hands slowly slid up my bare sides and gently cupped my naked breasts. Groaning loudly I arched my back pushing them into her hands. Her thumbs brushed over my sensitive buds causing them to harden. The look on her face was of pure awe. She brought her lips to one and sucked lightly, her free hand rolling the other. I put my hand on her head and brought her closer.

"Harder." I moaned. She immediately complied sucking much harder than before. She lavished attention to my breast sucking and licking them both for several minutes before I couldn't stand it any longer. I pulled her head up and crashed my lips to hers. She grabbed both of my horns and pulled me closer. I untucked her shirt and managed to get it over her head in between our heated kisses. I placed both of my hand over her still covered breast, wanting her to say okay before I unwrapped them. "May I?" I asked breathlessly.

"I may kill you if you don't." Cassandra growled. I quickly freed them and took a dark bud in my mouth sucking on one and palming the other. I quickly learned that Cassandra loved her breasts being suckled if her moans of pleasure were anything to go by. Within minutes she was writhing underneath me and I trailed my hand down her side to the waistband of her trousers. I pulled her trousers down kissing my way down her torso and legs as I pulled them off. I placed a kiss on each of her calves and on the inside of her knees. Continuing my way up I kissed each thigh and only stopped when I reached the apex of her legs. I glanced up at Cassandra asking a question with my eyes. She nodded once, her lips parted and her cheeks and chest flushed with arousal. I slowly pulled off her smalls reveling in the whimpers that were coming from Cassandra. I ran my rough hands up her smooth legs and settled myself in between her legs.

"Andraste I want to taste you." I whimpered pulling her legs apart, my heart soaring when she willingly opened them. I traced one of my hands down the length of her and slowly parted her glistening folds. I took a deep breath loving the scent of my soon to be lover's arousal. I lowered my head and slowly licked my way up to her swollen bud. She tasted _divine_. Cassandra moaned when my tongue found its way to her pearl and only moaned louder as I licked and sucked it. I quickly got in a pattern of licking and sucking and soon her thighs began to shake.

"I,I-" Cassandra moaned loudly as I took her clit into my mouth and sucked. "I'm so close." Cassandra panted. I brought my finger up to her opening and slowly traced around the edge. Her hips thrust downward trying to meet my finger. I pushed a single finger inside of her and hummed my pleasure. She was so wet for me. I could tell that she was close to coming and took pity on the woman. I thrust my finger in and out of her while I renewed my efforts on her clit. Her walls started to clench around my finger and I pumped harder. It only took several seconds before Cassandra was screaming her release. I pumped my fingers a few more times trying to prolong her pleasure and made my way up to kiss her. She met my lips for a hungry kiss, whimpering slightly as I withdrew my finger. I pulled back from our kiss and trailed my fingers down her jaw and marveled at the afternoon's events. "I love you." I whispered softly kissing her once more.

"I…" Cassandra pulled back and locked her gaze with mine. "I love you too, Amera." I smiled and felt tears of joy fall off my lashes and trail down my cheeks.

Fin

A/N Please Review!


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